A Game of Wit and Words
by Besh4221
Summary: Hermione is stressed out over... well, everything. Will a chat with everyone's favorite Ravenclaw change that? Giftfic for Kelseyz2. ONESHOT.


**Disclaimer:** I own Harry Potter. My name is also Ricardo Estaban Miguelito Renée Delarosa Ramirez-Gregorovitch-Hansen, I own three dragons and a manticore, I'm 2,175 years old, and if you believed any of that, you must have missed Basic Fanfiction Concepts 101. Also, who would ever name their kid something like that? Certainly not me. I'd kill my parents if I had a name like that.

**A Game of Wit and Words**

Hermione Granger walked through the corridors of Hogwarts, running her hands through her bushy hair, making it stand out on end even worse. She was feeling stressed. She knew it was completely normal, given that not only was she taking more classes than anyone in her year, she was maintaining perfect grades in all of them and was also taking all of her free time to study for her Ordinary Wizarding Level tests. She wasn't really worried about them, per se; it was in her nature not to become overconfident, since if she did, she'd be sure to make a stupid mistake that could be the difference between passing and failing.

Since Harry had noticed how unraveled she was becoming, he'd suggested that she take a day to simply do nothing but what she felt like doing. When she'd tried to say that she'd felt like studying, Harry had simply given her a look that all but screamed, "Are you _serious_?" He hadn't believed her, and again suggested that she take a "mental health day." It was really more of a demand than a suggestion, but Hermione supposed that that wasn't all that important.

She wasn't really watching where she was going, so when she bumped into something rather suddenly and fell to the ground, she was extremely shocked. She blinked a couple of times, then looked at who she had bumped into. Then, she sighed. "I'm really sorry about that, Luna," she said, standing and brushing off her robes. She held out a hand for Luna to grab, but Luna simply stood herself, looking unruffled.

"That's alright, Hermione," she said in that dreamy voice of hers. The one that made Hermione think of unicorns in the sunshine and butterflies skidding along rainbows while harp music played from a babbling stream winding through an endless field of flowers. "Neither of us were watching where we were going, so it's no harm done, I guess."

"Right," Hermione said, already distracted by her own thoughts again. "Well, I'll see you later, Luna," she said, turning to wander off somewhere.

"Hermione," came Luna's voice, and Hermione stopped and turned around.

"Yes?" she asked in a calm voice that hid her agitation surprisingly well.

"You look like you've been under a lot of stress," Luna said matter-of-factly. "I've been watching you, because I see you around when I'm looking for Wrackspurts and other creatures like that. Are you okay?"

Hermione raised an eyebrow at Luna's (probably) inadvertent confession to practically stalking her, but said, "Yes, I'm fine. Just a little stressed because it's fifth year, and the OWLs are coming. I want to be prepared, that's all."

"You aren't preparing, though. You're just walking around. Not that I mind just walking around; I do it a lot myself. I find it helps me to think, to gather my thoughts. Calm my mind, you know."

"Right," Hermione said, nodding. _Like I'm _trying_ to do, if you'd stop _talking_ to me_, she thought vehemently. "Well, Harry said that I should take a 'mental health day,' or something like that. So here I am, walking around, because Harry won't let me study. He must just want me to fail."

"I don't think that's why," Luna said, frowning slightly. "I think he's just worried about you is all. He's a very good friend that way, you know, doing his best to make sure that you don't burn yourself out. It happens all the time with people who get too serious about their education."

"Too… too serious?" Hermione asked, dumbstruck. "How can you be _too serious_ about your education? What you do in school determines the rest of your life!"

"No it doesn't, Hermione."

"Yes, Luna, it does."

"No, actually, it doesn't. Think about it logically."

"Fine! Logically, what you choose to do while in school directly affects your entire life. Therefore, your education affects the rest of your mortal days."

"You just contradicted yourself."

"What? No I didn't."

"Yes, you did. First you said that what people choose to do affects their life, then you said that education affects their life. Which is it? It could be one or it could be the other, but it can't be both."

Hermione blinked; she'd been so used to being the most logical of her friends that she'd rarely if ever been contradicted before, either by someone or by herself. "Um, I guess you're right there. But obviously, if you put a lot of effort into your education, it'll show employers and instructors of higher education that you're serious about making a contribution to society somehow."

"Oh, without a doubt," Luna said agreeably. "However, that doesn't mean that _education_ determines what you'll do in life. _You _determine your educational value, therefore _you_ determine what you'll do in life."

"That's semantics!" Hermione said, abruptly losing patience. At the same time, though, she reluctantly admitted to herself that she was having… well, she was having fun. With Luna Lovegood, of all people. _Who'd have thought_, she mused.

"Not semantics," Luna repudiated. "Specifics. You specifically determine your contribution to society by specifically choosing the amount of work you put into your education."

Hermione waved that off. "Fine, fine. I'll give you that. It wasn't really that important anyway."

"Education is extremely important," Luna said, and Hermione sighed exasperatedly.

"According to what you just said, education isn't nearly as important as the person being educated!" she said. "Following your line of reasoning, if a person simply put a lot of effort into their education, they'd get a lot out of it, and nothing would change that."

"That is entirely true," Luna said. "And that also means that whatever effort you put into tests –"

"Would show in the results, obviously," Hermione interrupted. "Instructors, outside factors, none of it would matter. If you put in a lot of effort, you'd get a good grade." She stopped, and looked at Luna, who was smiling.

"Exactly, Hermione," Luna said. "Exactly. No matter what, if you put a lot of effort into whatever you do, you will succeed. Just as you are the master of your education, so you are the master of your life, of your destiny, if you will."

"Oh, but destiny is a whole other subject," Hermione said, not quite willing to end her discussion with Luna. "Free will and destiny are entirely subjective, to my mind."

"How do you mean?" Luna asked.

"Well, the way I see it is that people will perceive for themselves whether they act of free will or in accordance with their destiny. Honestly, I don't think either of them apply. I'm not quite sure what affects the flow of the universe, but it surely isn't free will or Fate. How can it be, when everyone experiences the same thing, but calls it something different? It isn't at all definitive."

Luna looked impressed. "That's an interesting way to look at it. I'd never done that myself."

"Really?" This caught Hermione rather off-guard. "That's surprising."

"Why?"

"Well, you always seem to be one of the most… existential people, I guess, that I've ever met. You don't usually look at things with any sort of bias."

"Ah, but see, I do," Luna said with a wistful smile. "I look at things from the biased point of view that is unbiased."

"Would you care to explain that?" Hermione asked, feeling like her mind was running in circles. But this wasn't unpleasant; she honestly just wanted to know how Luna's mind worked.

"Everything has a bias," Luna said. "There is no such thing as true objectivity. As humans, we cannot look at things from a completely nonsubjective standpoint; it isn't in our nature. Not to mention, attempting to look at a given situation or idea from an 'unbiased' point of view tends to cloud people's reasoning, and they don't see conclusions as easily as if they were looking at a given situation or idea in a 'biased' manner."

"I don't understand," Hermione said. "How can something be unbiased and biased at the same time?"

"I don't mean that a lack of bias is a bias," Luna said, then paused. "Well, actually, I suppose that's exactly what I mean. Look at it like this, if you can. Look at it as being 'unbiased' versus being 'biased'. Two sides of a debate, one side biased for 'bias', and the other side…"

"The other side… biased against… bias?" Hermione said. Luna nodded, looking pleased.

"Right. So I tend to look at things from both points of view, and then pick view I feel I identify more closely with. And that's what I think objectivity truly is. Being able to look at two sides of an issue, and then pick a side of your own volition. Because simply disregarding biased points of view doesn't make you completely unbiased. You are, quite literally, biased against bias."

Hermione nodded slowly. "I think I understand," she said after a moment. She tried to gather her circular-running thoughts, and then said, "You're saying that being unbiased is being biased against bias, and that true objectivity comes from being able to understand two sides of any given issue – or more than two sides if there are more than two – and pick a side based on your own personal opinion. Right?"

Luna nodded.

"Okay, I can understand that. But then… isn't using your own personal opinions biased in your favor?" Hermione said, hitting a new snag in her reasoning.

Luna smiled and nodded. "There is no such thing as being completely unbiased."

Hermione blinked, and suddenly the pieces seemed to simply clunk into place. She could visualize exactly what Luna was talking about, and she could apply it to anything she wanted. It was a good feeling, comprehending. It was why Hermione liked school and learning so much; there was, to her, no greater feeling in the world than finally understanding something. The thrill of learning something new or foreign was greater than anything in the world, in Hermione's _very_ biased opinion.

"Wow… thanks, Luna," she said, looking at the blonde Ravenclaw in a whole new light. "You really… helped me to understand."

"I'm glad," Luna said with another wistful smile. "I do so like helping people to understand the way I see things. It really is a very simplistic way to look at the world, but, then again, simple is usually best. It's when perceptions and thoughts are muddled by 'complications' that things become… well, complicated. I don't like thinking about things that haven't happened or that could happen. I like to think of what has happened and use that as a very generalized template for what to expect in the future. It's been said by a lot of people that history repeats itself. I figure this way, I'm a bit ahead of the curve." Her smile grew slightly brighter at this.

Hermione simply stood, computing this. Finally, she said, "You know… you're right. Looking at things simply does seem to be the best way to get things done. If you add too many variables, you're bound to lose sight of the original problem."

"Just like in Arithmancy," Luna said, and Hermione nodded, another clap of comprehension overcoming her.

"_Exactly_ like in Arithmancy!" she said excitedly. "Right, because if you're trying to solve for, say, the letter X, then adding in letters A, D, Y, and Z only make you have to solve for those letters first, and _then_ try to solve for X!"

Luna nodded, her smile turning into a full grin.

"Luna, I feel like I've completely underestimated you," Hermione said. "You're very knowledgeable."

"Thank you, Hermione, I'm glad you think so," Luna replied happily. "A lot of people think I'm simply insane, but… you know what I think about insanity?"

"No, but I could probably guess," Hermione responded. "You probably think of insanity as an absence of sanity… of limitations. Because you aren't concerned with what 'sanity' entails – hypocrisy, bias, or maybe a refusal to acknowledge bias is a better way to phrase it – you're thought of as insane. But you aren't; you're just much more simplistic in your worldview. And if that's insanity, then I suppose you've driven me insane as well."

Luna looked at Hermione for a long time. Then, she said, "So does that mean you believe in the Crumple-Horned Snorkack?"

Hermione laughed. "No, I don't, because I haven't seen any irrefutable proof. But what determines refutability in my case probably isn't the same as yours, nor does lack of proof mean a lack of existence."

"So… you believe in the Crumple-Horned Snorkack," Luna said again, and Hermione laughed.

"Yes," she said. "I guess I do, since I can't seem to stay stuck in my refusal to acknowledge the possibility of its existence."

"And thus you have reached enlightenment," Luna said in a mystical voice, one that Hermione felt this time was a parody. "You have done well, young grasshopper."

"Young grasshopper?" Hermione laughed again. "Whatever you say, oh sensei. Whatever you say."

Luna smiled and held out a hand. Hermione clasped it, and they shook hands. "Well, Hermione, it was nice being able to talk with you."

"It was great talking to you, Luna," Hermione said. "You've altered my perception on so many things now, simply by virtue of logic. Well, as logically as logical logic can get, I guess."

"I knew I would," Luna said. "You're a very logical person, Hermione, you truly are. You're so logical you can debate the logicality of logic. If that isn't logical, I don't know what is."

They both laughed, and then Luna said, "I'm off to Ravenclaw Tower. Have fun with the rest of your mental health day, Hermione."

"Bye, Luna," Hermione said, and watched as Luna walked down the corridor and out of sight. As she turned around and began walking again, she knew two things. One was that she and Luna were probably going to be much better friends. The other was that she didn't feel remotely stressed any more.

* * *

**A/N:** Ahh, Luna, sometimes I truly wonder if people give you nearly as much credit as they should.

And this, dear readers, is a direct look into exactly how my mind works. I'm a big fan of relativity and individualism, and I do not think that there are any such things as "universal truths" or nonsense like that. If you'd like to discuss this with me at all, feel free to drop me a review, a PM, or an email, and we'll set up a fun little chat like Hermione and Luna here had.

This was a giftfic for my friend, fellow Harry Potter fanatic, and fellow fanfiction author **Kelseyz2**. She writes RENT fanfiction, a fandom with which I am completely unfamiliar. But that's alright, I suppose. Anyway, here you go, Kelsey. Happy New Year. =]

On a final, semi-related note: I am willing to do giftfics for anyone who asks, as long as they can give me a fandom, a pairing, a genre (or genres), and a prompt that can be as vague or as specific as they like. Just send me a PM if you want, yeah?

Aaaaaaaaaaanyway, review, _review_, REVIEW_, REVIEW_! ...Please. :D

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